Big, Fat, Sweating Headaches…

This has been one of the longest days ever.  I guess with everything going on, I have come to appreciate long days.  I just wish they weren’t spent at work.  I have been up since 3-something in the morning.  We’re working on 19 hours or so.  I was on-call last night, and the phone started ringing early.  As I was trying to go back to sleep, I heard what I thought might be gunshots from a shotgun.  Turns out there was a S.W.A.T. Standoff in my apartment complex close to me.  It ended up being a false alarm, and a made up story by a pissed off girlfriend (yeah, she is in a lot of trouble now), and I’m still wondering where the shots would have come from.  But I started my day way early nonetheless.  I also had myself are tangled up in some sort of frenzy due to my “night sweat” last night.  I don’t know if it was or not, but either way, I will just have to make my oncologist aware of it.  Some kind wonderful people over at the Hodge Board were nice enough to tell me that some of them still have sweats or night sweats and they have had no evidence of disease in a long time.

They were also kind enough to tell me that just because I feel like I am bothering my onc, that is his job and that is what he is paid to do.  He has never given me any reason to feel like I am a bother to him - I guess it’s just my own insecurities leading me to believe that.  I just feel that I bug sometimes…But I guess that is just my job as the cancer patient, no?  If I have questions, question.  I think this prednisone is really messing with my head.  My emotions have been all over the place the last few days.  From bitchy, to depressed, to manic.  It’s almost as if I am literally on some sort of emotional roller coaster.  Literally.

I gained more weight too.  I went from about 125 in 3 weeks to tonight at 150.  I called the cancer center today, and Dr. Clark called me in a script for Dyazide.  Hopefully it will help me get rid of some of this water weight.  While I understand the need to at a healthy weight through all this, I don’t want to be bloated and full of water.

And I have a huge headache right now.  It’s raging.  I took my temazepam, so no oxycodone for me, hopefully my 3 ibuprofen will kick in…But it’s been nearly an hour and nothing.  I am off to sleep, at least lay here until I fall asleep.  I sure hope tomorrow goes much better than today.