Chemo”therapy”? My Ass…
September 15, 2008
LOOK! LOTS OF PICTURES! Ok, so wow. It’s been a long 12 days since I’ve posted. Has it really been that long? Yup. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make this an extremely long post, but I will cover as much as I can as fast as I can. I still owe you all a few other posts - My 2nd opinion, some chemo chronicles something, and a few updates. Well, here is one update. So, let me stop rambling and get on with it.
Quick Notes (In absolutely NO particular order):
- I have BAD neuropathy. It’s hard to walk. Both hands are completely numb, except for a very sharp pin feeling when pressure is applied. (Typing this is extremely uncomfortable and difficult)
- I now weigh WELL over 180 pounds.
- Chemo, with my increased dosages was sheer hell.
- I am on day 4 of my chemo break (hallelujiah).
- I am working hard (and not accomplishing much) starting my own business.
- I went to the doctor today because I feel like crap and am huge as far as water retention goes. (Urine analysis, blood culture, cbc w/ diff, CMP, chest xray and ultrasound of my legs. Wednesday I have an Echocardiogram.
- NONE of my clothes fit. I popped the buttons off my last pair of pants today. Still trying to figure out what I will do at work tomorrow.
- I have a PET/CT after my next cycle of chemo in about 3 weeks - if all is well I graduate to radiation therapy and get to get the hell off this prednisone.
- I’m not so chemobrained or chemostunted anymore. I’m just an outright raging lunatic. I get VERY angry VERY easily.
- I am not very social anymore. Don’t talk to anyone or really don’t care to. (Please don’t take this personally, it’s the meds - make me not want to be very talkative, and then if I am I just scream at you.) I’m just a very not nice person all around. I would really hate me if I weren’t me.
- My 2nd opinion went great. Said Dr. Clark was on the right track with this God-Forsaken chemo regimen.
- I have a lot of fun web projects I want to work on - but I need to finish my “business thing” first. God, I hope I get that up and running in the next couple of days, it’s taken a week too long.
This past chemo cycle I ate a lot. Look at this yummy double cheeseburger with heavy everything! Mmmmm… And then yesterday, lunch was 2 pork chops with the rest of the plate filled up with mashed potatos and gravy. Mmmmm… Friday night at IHOP I ate 3 pancakes, 3 eggs, hasbrowns, shrimp and french fries and a T-Bone steak. Mmmmm… Yeah, I really need to start not eating.
I am retaining enough water to make my body rival the Stay-Puft Marshamallow Man. Don’t You LOVE the picture above? And yes, I’m sorry. The smile is fake. How hot am I? Sigh.
Ok, I have to go for now. Again, please don’t take the not-socializing thing personally. It’s just really hard for me right now. I will be in touch again soon.
Take a look of these comparison pictures. The end of June versus today. Makes me sick.
I EFFING HATE CANCER!
I think you are very courageous and very beautiful! Just know we continue to PRAY for you. Went and visited Mom’s grave yesterday. I do miss her. I LOVE YOU! Hug the girls and yourself for me.
Hey, Uncle Ray!
Thank you for stopping by. I hope all is well with you and the family! I miss you guys. TY for your continued thoughts, prayers and support. One of these days soon, I will try to get my head out of my butt and try to be in a better mood so I can be nice to people and call you. I love you!
Girrrrrlllll, you look fine! You now officially fit into the Monique’s Cranky Club which is a very exclusive club to get into to.
And no matter how cranky you are, your sense of humor has remained perfectly in tack.
{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}
Moniques last blog post..I Have A Lot To Say…
lol, Monique. You’re right - at least I have been able to keep my sense of humor. HAHA, too bad it’s usually at the expense of others!!
This too shall pass! I know it seems hard to imagine right now, but you will go back to looking and feeling like yourself. I know how hard it is and I am all too aware of feeling out of sorts by all the weight gain. I gained over 30 pounds during treatment and my feet still have limited feeling…but I am now down 20 pounds, wearing comfy shoes and loving life! Keep that positive mental attitude and live strong! …I had 15 rounds of radiation too…
Dales last blog post..A day full of dogs!
Dale… Ugh.
I did talk to one of my employees today (a nurse), asking about what you said about losing the weight. They said I more than likely would, especially since most of this is water weight. But geez. And I know, there really are more important things to worry about, I shouldn’t be complaining, as I’m getting healthier, and like…not dying. But yeah, when I have no pants to wear, well…We gotta problem.