Half-way normal.

Sooo.  Wow.  A post.  I promised one again soon and here it is.  I’m doing tons better.  Feeling mostly great.  Tired though.  Though, Brandon, that guy that came and saw me the one time at the cancer center - yes, the Hodgkin’s survivor, told me that I will be tired for about a year after all of this is said and done.  They call it post-cancer fatigue.  Not quite sure why it happens, but it does.  Sigh.  I will get my energy back one day.

Most of the chemo (which I think is mostly prednisone) effects have finally worn off.  I think by Saturday I was pretty much back to normal.  Lord, it took a week and a day.  Friday I was still feeling it, but by Saturday I was good to go.  Sunday I was able to go out and do some running around, and did ok.

But just think - I only have 4 days to go and I start it all over again. I’m still fat.  But have lost a couple pounds.  You can tell my face isn’t “quite” as swollen as it was even last week, and definitely not as bad as the week before.  My feet are still getting swollen though, and my fingers are still numb.  Dale (of tuckerthechow.typepad.com), fellow twitter, and a survivor, mentioned in a comment on my post before the dream post, that her feet still have numbness and bother her, even afterward.  As bad as my neuropathy has been, I can imagine that I may be in the same boat.  It is somewhat bothersome, but something I guess I can learn to live with.  My big thing is the falling.  My legs, during the last part of chemo, just crumbled beneath me and I fell about 3 or 4 times.  They still give a little bit, but now I’m usually able to catch myself and restep to counteract the “wanting to fall” thing.

I’m just looking forward to the prospect that this might be my last round of chemo.  I pray, forever.

I’m kinda nervous about the radiation.  Watch me OD on the magic mouthwash - it has lidocaine and you can swish and swallow.  Supposed to help with the esophageal pain and throat pain that I will get with radiation.  Throat pain is one thing I CANNOT stand.  Lord, you think I complain about the prednisone, lol, we’ll see what happens then.

Is there such a thing as chemo-crankiness?  I know that prednisone can cause outrage, etc.  We’ve all seen it in me when I post when I’m on it, I know.  But even still, now that all the chemo has worn off, I’m just a sour biotch.  People are aggravating me to no end.  I have no patience, I’m rude, I’m quick to correct you, and good God, don’t rub me the wrong way, because I will go off.  This generally isn’t like me.  I mean - people do bother me, “stupid people”, and always have, but I’ve learned how to be tactful about it.  These days, I just have absolutely no problem telling you how badly you’re pissing me off.  I hope it wears off, I really don’t like being like that.  Just seems I can’t tolerate it.  Ugh.

So, I do want to take a minute and do a special thank you.  A couple months ago, I mentioned Ron (sockrataz.wordpress.com), who is part of a “Hike for Discovery” team.  They hile and raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  I had mentioned how honored I was that he had attached a ribbon with my name on it (along with others) and their team had hiked in my honor.  Well I guess Sat, September 13th, they had a big to-do, and they had prayer flags waving in the wind.  Here is mine. :)  I got to share it with his Uncle Jay, who unfortunately lost his battle with prostate cancer this past June.  (wow, Ron, I didn’t realize, I am so sorry to hear that.)  Ron apologized for me having to “share a flag”, but I am even more honored!  Truly an amazing team, their Hike For Discovery Team.  Perhaps next year I can make a guest appearance and help them with their efforts.  Knowing me though, I’ll wimp out after about a mile!!

I died the tips of my hair black.  It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything with my hair.  I used to color it all the time.  I kinda stopped as I was getting sicker, and well, at the beginning of treatment it was kinda pointless to spend money on coloring something that was potentially about to fall out.  Speaking of which.  My wig planned worked.  I am known for having the worst luck ever.  Call it bad karma for my past life, or maybe I broke about 5 mirrors as a kid, like all in the same day, and those 7 years each added up.  I don’t know.  But I was hoping that if I spent the money on the wig (wasn’t entirely cheap) that, as my bad luck would have it, the money would be wasted and I wouldn’t need it.  Well the plan worked.  I’m convinced that is what saved my hair through all this.  I stared the luck-biotch in the face, whooped out a can of reverse psychology and I still have my hair.  And if I am the ONLY one that understood that analogy, it’s ok.  Like I said, I think most of the chemo has worn off.  Not all of it.  I still have a little bit of that chemobrain!

Anyhow.  I need to try to get some sleep.  Left all my meds at work today, which equates to no tempazepam.  I will probably be up all night, so I have to start trying early.  I will post again soon.  This posting thing is kinda nice.

(What will I do with My Lymphoma Story when I’m all done?  It makes me sad.)

Night, kiddos.